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Sometimes, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he explains. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically succeeded by a “sudden low”, where he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his behavior, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from external sources. He began to think he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits through digital sources – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have taken the label unless he had independently formed that understanding personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Though people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what the term implies the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people conceal it, due to so much stigma around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through things like pursuing power,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Though up to 75% of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings suggests this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” notes a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and rejection,” she says, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples as a child. “I’ve been learning continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because I never had that growing up,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were belittling me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with feelings. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur early next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he says. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number